My greatest fear used to be being a bad memory for someone. The thought of the reason someone is staying up at night and tossing and turning because I had wronged them made my stomach turn. To be honest, I probably have been that person. I have wronged people. I have sinned. I don't deserve the grace that God has given me, but He still continues to give it.
Since I was in High School I had paralyzing depression and anxiety. About a year ago I would have to crawl around my apartment to get around because I couldn't make myself stand up. I couldn't make myself leave the house. Now, I am not sharing this because I want you to feel sorry for me. I am sharing this because I want as many people as possible to know the transformation that God has brought to my life.
A dear friend of mine gave me a verse to memorize to deal with my anxiety. I always thought memorizing scripture was ridiculous. I thought it was busy work that they had us do at Sunday school so we could win stickers or treats. However, I was desperate to try anything. I memorized Romans 12:2 which says "Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So that you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God". The idea of transformation was appealing to me. I hated who I was. My past was a weight that crushed me and kept me from seeing any good in my life. I repeated this verse out loud to myself whenever I felt anxious and I would feel myself relax. I felt peace.
I am now in the process of a Bible study with the friend I mentioned earlier and another woman as we go through a book called "Calm my anxious heart" by Linda Dillow. Memory verses are very important in this book and although we are only in the 2nd week I can feel my anxiety breaking down and I can finally feel close to God again. The past year I have had a barrier up and I have been drowning and unable to see God anywhere. I felt abandoned. The fact is that God was there the whole time. I was just unable to see Him because I was too busy dwelling on my past to be able to see what He was doing right then. I am learning that God can take a situation full of terrible circumstances and make it good. Linda Dillow says "It's our 'helping God out' that leads to an anxious heart", and I couldn't agree more. The more I try and "help" the less I rely on God and the more I rely on myself. I will always lose. I will always fail. But it is through Him that gives me strength that I will find contentment.
I hope that if you are reading this that you will feel encouraged and know that contentment CAN be learned. We can train ourselves to look to God first. We can be used for His glory.
If you wanted to look into the book we are reading you can find it here.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Change is essential.
April 12 of 2012 I married my best friend. Since that day our life has been nothing but constant change and lack of normality. About two years ago this would have made me a complete and total wreck. Possibly to the point of being unable to function. Thankfully, God put a series of difficult but essential events in my life that made this bearable and even, enjoyable. Now, don't get me wrong, there have been plenty of times that I have felt fear, frustration, sorrow, anger, and even nausea over this past year but having Matt right there by my side makes it all worth it.
I'm guessing you're wondering why I am being so vague about what has happened in the past year and what more changes we could possibly be having. Well, that is because I can't exactly share all the details just yet, but I will catch you all up soon. The reason that I am posting this is because I just wanted to share the fact that I am embracing change. I never thought change would be something I would look forward to, and the fact that I am excited about it and that I am encouraging MORE of it.... I feel like shouting for joy, but since my neighbors would probably be a little less than thrilled about all the noise, I have decided to just blog about it and put my excitement out into a cyber abyss that maybe no one is reading.
Anyways.... I'm thinking I'll get a new hairstyle to go along with my new found perspective.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
New things in the Francis life.
Hello, Friends!
I know it has been a while since you all have heard from me on here. I'm sure most of you are kept up to date on our life with my Facebook and my Instagram. If not then you must be very far behind and you probably need some catching up! Matt and I are finally finished moving in and we celebrated Christmas for the first time as a married couple and also for the first time in our new house! There have been A LOT of firsts this year and I must say I am not minding all the change. It definitely keeps things exciting around here.
We still have our cat, Ashes, but we have recently added another new addition to the Francis clan.
This is Todd.
As I'm sure you can tell by now, Matt and I have a hard time saying "no" to cute little faces. Oh well, they bring a lot of life to our home and we enjoy them very much (unless Todd is misbehaving. He is, after all, still a puppy.)
I have also started working at Starbucks as a barista. I have been there about three months now and I am loving it. My store is really close to wear Matt works so I am able to see him more often and sometimes we even carpool together. In addition to seeing Matt more I am getting to know people in the Bountiful area more, which is awesome since we go to church down there and I don't know anyone outside of our church. I am very thankful for my co-workers and how enjoyable they are to work with. It feels like I am with friends when I am at work and I don't think you can beat that feeling.
Well, I suppose that is all for right now but I will be updating this blog more often now that life has calmed down a little bit. Thank you to all who are subscribed and still hanging on.
God bless!
Aleesha Francis
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
The adventures of a girl and her cat
When we first got Ashes there was an instant bond
Even Jake approved of her.
She loves Matt.
She loves me
And she LOVES the outdoors.
Thankfully she loves us just a little bit more than the outdoors so she comes home ;)
Just like family
I love the people in our Bible study! I am not sure what I would do without these people. I am so thankful that God created us to be in a community with one another. Last night we talked about the story of David and Jonathan. If you haven't read this story it is in 1 Samuel 18.
"When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself. "
In some translations it says "loved him as much as his own soul." Can you imagine loving a friend in that way? When we first read this we were talking about how we would consider that a "homosexual" love but the more we read the more we realized that this kind of a bond between men is discouraged in our culture. Men are taught from a young age that being a man means that you don't need anyone. To be transparent with someone is to show weakness. God did not make us to live like this.
Last night I tried to imagine what it would be like to be completely transparent with my close friends. At first I became frightened that they might not like me anymore. I was afraid that they may not like the person that I really am. Then I became excited at the bond that I would be able to have with them. What a wonderful example of Christs love.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Home!
My husband and I have a house! We actually have been here for almost 2 months now and we are LOVING it! I finally feel like I have a place to call home. Before we bought the house we were living in a very small one bedroom apartment. After approximately one week I was done with the tight living quarters. Our apartment was in the basement with one window and one sliding glass door. The small amount of light that would have been let in was covered by a big shady tree. I became depressed very quickly. It's amazing how important it is to have sunshine! Thankfully our house has nice big windows in every room (I probably wouldn't have bought it if it didn't).
We are SO blessed!
Friday, July 6, 2012
Oh, this old thing?
It has almost been a year since my last post which is a shame because it has been a very eventful year!
This past year I have:
As of right now Matt and I are in the process of buying a home. Buying a home is MUCH more stressful than getting married in my opinion. Talk about a scary purchase. Although this has been a stressful time Matt and I have been extremely blessed to have Godly people helping us through the process. I never thought I would look forward to talking to my mortgage lender but I am so impressed that he never stops reminding us that God is in control of the situation and after every meeting or phone call he prays with us. This has also transferred into our marriage and reminds us to continuously pray about this together (praying together is one of my favorite things about being married). I am also in awe of the people that God has placed in my life right now. He always knows what I need. Lord, thank you for the many blessings that you have given Matt and I and I pray that we will be able to show your love to others so that they can one day experience this great relationship for themselves.
Amen
This past year I have:
- Gone to college for the first time
- Became engaged
- Became married
- Reunited with an old friend
- Became a cat owner
- Learned to knit
- Learned to rock climb
As of right now Matt and I are in the process of buying a home. Buying a home is MUCH more stressful than getting married in my opinion. Talk about a scary purchase. Although this has been a stressful time Matt and I have been extremely blessed to have Godly people helping us through the process. I never thought I would look forward to talking to my mortgage lender but I am so impressed that he never stops reminding us that God is in control of the situation and after every meeting or phone call he prays with us. This has also transferred into our marriage and reminds us to continuously pray about this together (praying together is one of my favorite things about being married). I am also in awe of the people that God has placed in my life right now. He always knows what I need. Lord, thank you for the many blessings that you have given Matt and I and I pray that we will be able to show your love to others so that they can one day experience this great relationship for themselves.
Amen
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
I want
I want to create lovely birds.
Birds that will hang above my head at night.
They will remind me of the simple beauty in life.
My own little birds.
Realizing my actions and reactions.
I noticed I hate being classified as "religious"
Why?
What is wrong with being religious?
Nothing.
Being religious is all about keeping traditions.
I am not against tradition.
Tradition is wonderful!
This is how our cultures are formed.
But over the past few weeks I have realized that I don't want to be known as a "traditionalist"
This is not what my God is about.
I believe in being a Christ follower.
Christ follower: Someone who cares more about showing Jesus to others so that they can have a relationship with Him.
Being religious and a Christ follower can go hand in hand. But I don't want to be known for my traditions... I want to be known as the girl on fire for God.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pulling the focus
I know I haven't been keeping up on my 365 days of being thankful. I didn't realize why it was so hard for me. I noticed that I haven't been looking at the possibility of a bigger picture that God was trying to show me because I was so focused on trying to find the little things. After realizing and understanding this, I decided that I should share what I am going through.
Lately I have been throwing a bit of a pity party for myself. These past few weeks I have had a few people make comments, negative ones, about my weight, height, attractiveness, and personality. Apparently, the only opinion after that was the people that were telling me all these terrible things about myself. Suddenly I didn't feel worthy of being loved, no matter how beautiful Matt told me I was I just couldn't accept it. I engulfed myself in trying to be perfect.
One night I went home and watched probably around 10 youtube videos on how to make your hair prettier, put on my makeup better, and how to get perfect skin. None of these things made me happy, because none of them really matter. The next day I went to work and was being criticized by the same people, I was letting Satan's demons get in my head and tell me just how worthless I am. Then I texted a friend of mine randomly, asking her what she was doing that evening, she told me that she was going to a Bible study that was at my church (I wasn't paying enough attention to know about any other activities but applying beauty treatments to myself). I decided to go. When I got there I realized how much God was working in that one text message. That night we were talking about the exact same thing I was going through. I was able to vent in a safe place where I would actually be able to seek advice instead of just "vent" and then not feel any relief. I have been going the past few weeks and it always comes at the perfect moment, and somehow we end up talking about the exact thing I am dealing with that day.
Over these past few weeks I have realized what I am thankful for.
I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect to be loved by God.
Never will I have to earn his love, because his love in unconditional.
God takes me as I am, he meets me where I'm at.
All women are beautiful, no matter what the magazines tell you.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Two weeks in Japan
Well, it seems I have failed on blogging every day about what I am thankful for. I should of realized that this would be harder than I thought. I did write down things in my journal things I was thankful for though, so I will share a few of them (it is my journal after all).
The first thing I did when I arrived in Japan was slip up the stairs to the house and hit my knee. You will get to see how it progresses later in the blog.
And here is the house we were staying at (this is really big for Japan so we were very blessed)
Please notice those menacing stairs and how the umbrellas are cowering in the corner away from them...
Here is the girls room where Whitney, Susan and I stayed. My bed is the purple one in the corner.
This is our team at the Buddhist temple. When you first walked in it looked like a market place. They sold souvenirs, ice cream, candy... You forgot you were in a place of worship.
And here is one of the demons guarding the temple. Their eyes freaked me out because they followed you.
This is Whitney at I in the temple getting some ice cream. Hers was a twist cone and mine was rose flavored. They were delicious.
This is a small street where we found a literal "hole in the wall" ramen shop. It was one of the best things I have ever eaten.
And here is the main attraction (this aint your mama's top ramen)
Next we make our way to the more confusing part of Japan... the toilets.
It must be comical for Americans to come to your home.
Progression...
This is Janet Brown and I cleaning up in front of the Summit house (where we stayed) She is the short term missions coordinator out in Japan.
Yes, those Koi are larger than a duck.
I took this one of our last days in Japan.
Bye bye Japan...
Back home, flying over the salt flats.
Alright! Japan was, needless to say, awesome. I wasn't anywhere near the radiation areas so I should be good to go in that sense ,although I think it would be cool to get a super power from it, I doubt that I was affected.
Our home was in Higashikurume, Tokyo. It was such a cute little town. It almost seemed like its own community. There were little stores everywhere, it seemed more like the farmers market than going to the grocery store (which they had).
The first thing I did when I arrived in Japan was slip up the stairs to the house and hit my knee. You will get to see how it progresses later in the blog.
And here is the house we were staying at (this is really big for Japan so we were very blessed)
Please notice those menacing stairs and how the umbrellas are cowering in the corner away from them...
Here is the girls room where Whitney, Susan and I stayed. My bed is the purple one in the corner.
This is our team at the Buddhist temple. When you first walked in it looked like a market place. They sold souvenirs, ice cream, candy... You forgot you were in a place of worship.
And here is one of the demons guarding the temple. Their eyes freaked me out because they followed you.
This is Whitney at I in the temple getting some ice cream. Hers was a twist cone and mine was rose flavored. They were delicious.
This is a small street where we found a literal "hole in the wall" ramen shop. It was one of the best things I have ever eaten.
And here is the main attraction (this aint your mama's top ramen)
Next we make our way to the more confusing part of Japan... the toilets.
It must be comical for Americans to come to your home.
Progression...
This is Janet Brown and I cleaning up in front of the Summit house (where we stayed) She is the short term missions coordinator out in Japan.
Yes, those Koi are larger than a duck.
I took this one of our last days in Japan.
Bye bye Japan...
Back home, flying over the salt flats.
I was so thankful to get to meet all the people I met. It was nice to connect faces to the disaster. It isn't just something I saw on tv anymore... these are real people with lives not too different from mine who lost everything. I can't imagine going from my own room with my own bed to living in a gym with so many strangers. It was nice to see joy in the Japanese people. I hope I was able to contribute to that joy, but if not, I was still able to enjoy it. Thank you all for inviting me into your homes and loving me as if we were old friends. God spoke to me in so many ways within those two weeks that I don't think I would like to post a blog that long or that personal. I don't think I would be able to write it out in a sufficient way. For those of you who think that Japan only needs you now because of the disaster, please rethink it. These people needed to be shown God's love way before this ever happened. It is more than just a task to go and clean up this mess and be on our way. This is deep human emotion. This is more than destroyed homes. This is destroyed hearts. I am so glad God provided for me and that He called me to Japan. It was definitely a good place for me to be.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tonight.
We had chicken pillows, mashed potatos, and skor cake.
Perfect last american meal with family before Japan.
Love you guys.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
This one's for you.
I was able to spend some time with my roomie today! We watched The Cosby Show and Easy A together. It was really nice to be able to hang out with her again.
Also, I got to see my friends at Village Inn tonight and catch up on each others lives. I know it wasn't a huge event but I appreciate seeing them and I love that they are in my life.
You too Derek. ;)
One week
Crazy!
I can't believe how time has flown!
Exitement ensues...
This is Disneyland in Japan.
Maybe we could pay a visit? :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday :slash: Tuesday
Monday
Yesterday was Memorial day so Matt and I hung out went over to his parents house for breakfast and were then planning on going shooting. But apparently everyone under the sun thought that would be a great idea too because there was a huge waiting list. So instead we drove up the canyon to look at the flooding rivers and pineveiw. I have never seen anything like it, especially in Utah. The people that had houses right up against the river now had the river for a yard and for a deck. The water was going so fast that it ended up looking like it was boiling and was hitting under the bridges. It was scary to look at these homes that might be destroyed soon.
After driving around for a bit we went back to his parents house and watched "A bridge too far". It was pretty good, as far as war movies go. I don't know, I just have a hard time watching them because of how manny lives were lost and how many homes were broken because of these things. I do want to be informed but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. After the movie we had a steak dinner which was de-licious! I love Matt's family and am so thankful that I get along with them so well.
Tuesday (today)
Today was not a very enjoyable day. I was running late to work so I just threw some clothes on, put my hair up, and ran out the door. When I got to work I found out some plans I had made fell through which really upset me because I wasn't able to figure out a solution since I was working and couldn't just start texting while I was at work. Around the end of my shift I went to count my till and saw that I was $20 short. How could I of been $20 short!? I went out to the front near tears so I could tell Carlos, my co-worker, what happened. Before he could go back and double check for me we had to make some drinks but I was really shaky and anxious about the missing $20 and I sprayed hot steam all over myself and kept dropping lids and straws everywhere. Eventually we got all the drinks made, and made well, so I watched the front while Carlos checked my till for me. He came back out and said that I just added my numbers wrong and was right all along. I can't believe that I sat there and recounted my money three times and didn't think to try adding the numbers again. UGH!
I was a little light headed from my little panic attack so I went home and did a few chores around the house and noticed that I started to feel some seizures starting up. I decided to lay down and relax so that I could try and get rid of them so I could do some chores. Matt called and I told him how I was feeling and that I hadn't had the chance to eat today and was too disoriented to make it down the hall (I know that sounds pathetic but it's true). Matt, being the sweet man that he is, went and bought me pizza and milk (because I apparently mentioned how I needed some. I don't remember that). He totally brightened up my day. Once again, I am thankful for him and the way he can cheer me up. It's a gift.
Yesterday was Memorial day so Matt and I hung out went over to his parents house for breakfast and were then planning on going shooting. But apparently everyone under the sun thought that would be a great idea too because there was a huge waiting list. So instead we drove up the canyon to look at the flooding rivers and pineveiw. I have never seen anything like it, especially in Utah. The people that had houses right up against the river now had the river for a yard and for a deck. The water was going so fast that it ended up looking like it was boiling and was hitting under the bridges. It was scary to look at these homes that might be destroyed soon.
After driving around for a bit we went back to his parents house and watched "A bridge too far". It was pretty good, as far as war movies go. I don't know, I just have a hard time watching them because of how manny lives were lost and how many homes were broken because of these things. I do want to be informed but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. After the movie we had a steak dinner which was de-licious! I love Matt's family and am so thankful that I get along with them so well.
Tuesday (today)
Today was not a very enjoyable day. I was running late to work so I just threw some clothes on, put my hair up, and ran out the door. When I got to work I found out some plans I had made fell through which really upset me because I wasn't able to figure out a solution since I was working and couldn't just start texting while I was at work. Around the end of my shift I went to count my till and saw that I was $20 short. How could I of been $20 short!? I went out to the front near tears so I could tell Carlos, my co-worker, what happened. Before he could go back and double check for me we had to make some drinks but I was really shaky and anxious about the missing $20 and I sprayed hot steam all over myself and kept dropping lids and straws everywhere. Eventually we got all the drinks made, and made well, so I watched the front while Carlos checked my till for me. He came back out and said that I just added my numbers wrong and was right all along. I can't believe that I sat there and recounted my money three times and didn't think to try adding the numbers again. UGH!
I was a little light headed from my little panic attack so I went home and did a few chores around the house and noticed that I started to feel some seizures starting up. I decided to lay down and relax so that I could try and get rid of them so I could do some chores. Matt called and I told him how I was feeling and that I hadn't had the chance to eat today and was too disoriented to make it down the hall (I know that sounds pathetic but it's true). Matt, being the sweet man that he is, went and bought me pizza and milk (because I apparently mentioned how I needed some. I don't remember that). He totally brightened up my day. Once again, I am thankful for him and the way he can cheer me up. It's a gift.
Saturday
Oops, I skipped Saturday. My apologies.
I seem to remember Saturday being really rainy and cold. Which is not something you want to be experiencing in late May. But I didn't have work until 3:30 so I played my video games and relaxed until then. As of right now I am working on Lego Harry Potter years 1-4. The wonderful thing about lego games is you can just run around and destroy things. If you just keep hitting (or in this case jinxing) things then you will usually find out what you need to do. It isn't a frustrating game, it is easy enough that you don't get too worked up about but challenging enough that you aren't bored.
Cute.
Work was pretty slow and relaxed so I just talked with my boss Diane and her daughter Lily. It is so nice to have a boss and co-workers that you enjoy. I know I talk about this all the time but I truly do feel blessed by this job. It came at the perfect time and I don't have to wonder how I will get food for that week. God is providing for me big time and for that, I am thankful.
I seem to remember Saturday being really rainy and cold. Which is not something you want to be experiencing in late May. But I didn't have work until 3:30 so I played my video games and relaxed until then. As of right now I am working on Lego Harry Potter years 1-4. The wonderful thing about lego games is you can just run around and destroy things. If you just keep hitting (or in this case jinxing) things then you will usually find out what you need to do. It isn't a frustrating game, it is easy enough that you don't get too worked up about but challenging enough that you aren't bored.
Work was pretty slow and relaxed so I just talked with my boss Diane and her daughter Lily. It is so nice to have a boss and co-workers that you enjoy. I know I talk about this all the time but I truly do feel blessed by this job. It came at the perfect time and I don't have to wonder how I will get food for that week. God is providing for me big time and for that, I am thankful.
Sunday
Oh my goodness I am behind. Just imagine how long my blog will be when I get back from Japan. A whole two weeks of not writting here (I'll keep my notebook so I will remember).
Sunday
Sunday I worked until about six and had an annoying customer that was there my ENTIRE shift. He isn't a creepy guy but he goes over board sometimes. For instance, on Sunday I told him that I am leaving for Japan on the 8th of June for two weeks. He got this extremely sad look on his face and said "What am I going to do without seeing your face for two weeks?". I told him that he was fine for the six months he went there before me. THEN he informed me that that was before he was "addicted" to me. Who is this guy? What is he going to tell me next, my love is his drug? Ridiculous.
Then I went on my lunch break and sat down with my tea and started to read. Well, he must of thought that I hadn't had enough of him and this was my code for "Hey, you should come and join me!". He must of failed Social skills 101 in school. So my work day was not exactly a fun one, it wasn't bad, just not my favorite.
After work I went to youth group in Bountiful where Matt was teaching about loving your enemy. He used the example of Osama bin Laden and asked the question "Did he deserve to die?". That was a hard question for me to answer, I felt wrong making the call on someone's life, even if they are evil. But then we investigated some more and realized that he deserved death and eternal damnation. But as we read further we started to realize that so do we... so do I. Romans 3:23 says "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Now, I know that comparing myself to Osama bin Laden sounds harsh; but I don't disagree with it. I have also sinned, I have commited murder in my heart and have destroyed people with my harsh words. I am a liar, cheater, and a theif. I do, and always will, fall short of the glory of God.
Here are some other verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall lover your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister 'Raca' (idiot) is answerable to the court. Anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
Matthew 5:21-22
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
The greatest commandments are to Love God and Love everybody else. I admit to breaking both of these. I learned that because of this, we should be humbled and repentant.
"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles."
Proverbs 24:17
Sunday
Sunday I worked until about six and had an annoying customer that was there my ENTIRE shift. He isn't a creepy guy but he goes over board sometimes. For instance, on Sunday I told him that I am leaving for Japan on the 8th of June for two weeks. He got this extremely sad look on his face and said "What am I going to do without seeing your face for two weeks?". I told him that he was fine for the six months he went there before me. THEN he informed me that that was before he was "addicted" to me. Who is this guy? What is he going to tell me next, my love is his drug? Ridiculous.
Then I went on my lunch break and sat down with my tea and started to read. Well, he must of thought that I hadn't had enough of him and this was my code for "Hey, you should come and join me!". He must of failed Social skills 101 in school. So my work day was not exactly a fun one, it wasn't bad, just not my favorite.
After work I went to youth group in Bountiful where Matt was teaching about loving your enemy. He used the example of Osama bin Laden and asked the question "Did he deserve to die?". That was a hard question for me to answer, I felt wrong making the call on someone's life, even if they are evil. But then we investigated some more and realized that he deserved death and eternal damnation. But as we read further we started to realize that so do we... so do I. Romans 3:23 says "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Now, I know that comparing myself to Osama bin Laden sounds harsh; but I don't disagree with it. I have also sinned, I have commited murder in my heart and have destroyed people with my harsh words. I am a liar, cheater, and a theif. I do, and always will, fall short of the glory of God.
Here are some other verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall lover your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister 'Raca' (idiot) is answerable to the court. Anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
Matthew 5:21-22
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
The greatest commandments are to Love God and Love everybody else. I admit to breaking both of these. I learned that because of this, we should be humbled and repentant.
"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles."
Proverbs 24:17
Friday, May 27, 2011
Little did I know...
So it turns out, keeping up on this blogging stuff is tougher than I thought! Kudos to those of you who stay on top of it!
I'm trying to look back on what I did yesterday and I feel like it was a whole lot of nothing. I had the day off and zero motivation to do anything. So I sat home, ate, and watched Hey, Arnold for about three hours. But I did end up driving out to Bountiful to visit Matt. I was finally able to take him out to eat, which was a really great feeling because over the past four months I have been struggling with money. I have also noticed that I have become a lot more responsible with my money and am not spending on silly things that I don't need. I am starting to learn the concept of "It's God's money first", althought I don't claim to have mastered it quite yet ;)
As for today, I had a pretty frustrating morning. I lost my contact lense and don't have anymore backups. Which means I might not have contacts when I go to Japan. I REALLY hope I can get an eye appointment in soon so they can order me some more. It ususally takes a little bit to get here so I'm hoping that I have just over a little bit of time until I leave. Work was slow today so I was pretty thankful when it was over (no, that isn't my one thing of thankfulness). I don't know... today hasn't been a bad day, but it also hasn't necessarily been good either. I did notice a lot of pan handlers today walking aroun the junction in Ogden. They always ask for money but when any of us offer to buy them food they get mad at you. I really hope that they kind find out that they are worth more than what they are addicted to. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with what they are dealing with. But I also pray for the strength to show them love, because I have noticed that I really struggle with that.
I'm trying to look back on what I did yesterday and I feel like it was a whole lot of nothing. I had the day off and zero motivation to do anything. So I sat home, ate, and watched Hey, Arnold for about three hours. But I did end up driving out to Bountiful to visit Matt. I was finally able to take him out to eat, which was a really great feeling because over the past four months I have been struggling with money. I have also noticed that I have become a lot more responsible with my money and am not spending on silly things that I don't need. I am starting to learn the concept of "It's God's money first", althought I don't claim to have mastered it quite yet ;)
As for today, I had a pretty frustrating morning. I lost my contact lense and don't have anymore backups. Which means I might not have contacts when I go to Japan. I REALLY hope I can get an eye appointment in soon so they can order me some more. It ususally takes a little bit to get here so I'm hoping that I have just over a little bit of time until I leave. Work was slow today so I was pretty thankful when it was over (no, that isn't my one thing of thankfulness). I don't know... today hasn't been a bad day, but it also hasn't necessarily been good either. I did notice a lot of pan handlers today walking aroun the junction in Ogden. They always ask for money but when any of us offer to buy them food they get mad at you. I really hope that they kind find out that they are worth more than what they are addicted to. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with what they are dealing with. But I also pray for the strength to show them love, because I have noticed that I really struggle with that.
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