Death

I'm ready for part of me to die so that I can be reborn.
what a wonderful concept. I love how God is taking care of me.Thank you.




It takes death to bring new life.
Just like the tomato.

Some truth you need to hear.

Please believe me when I tell you that love is not a feeling or an emotion.It is a choice.

Summer laze

I've just been so tired lately. I'm not entirely sure why, I dont really do anything, maybe I'm having seizures while I'm sleeping? Ah well, nothing I can do about that.

Anywho, It feels like summer is almost over - mostly because I work at famous footwear and tomorrow we start back to school - and that I haven't gotten a chance to even have one. Matt and I have both been working fairly frequently and find it hard to get time off to go on trips. Which is a total bummer. Hopefully we can go on a camping trip somewhere close before the end of July. I have only been swimming twice and haven't hiked once. What a lame-o. Sadly I had to cancel hiking with Aimee the other day because I got called into work. I'm hoping that we can do something this week.

Good news:

• I get to hang out with my Go group / family tonight. Always a good time :)
• I am going to Lagoon with Matt on Tuesday

I love the people God has been putting in my life and helping me get closer too. I hope you all know what a blessing you all are :)

Inspiration

Children of God.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We might ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?You are a a child of God.Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking.So that other people wont feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do.We were born to make manifest the glory of god that is winthin us.It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone.And as we let our light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.As we are liberated from our own fear, our presenence automatically liberates others.

Stuck.

Its strange... I feel like I'm doing nothing this summer. Although I am working and hanging out with friends. Maybe I need to get out of Utah. See something. Be something. Make something. I dont know... Hopefully I get out of this funk.

Fear.

Today was like any other day. I had a hair appointment scheduled and got rid of my A line so that I can start growing my hair out, which I'm very excited about, and then I had work. Work was going great. It was a pretty easy day and we were doing good and I got to go to lunch with Matt which always brightens up my day. But then about an hour after I got back I started to feel like I was going to have a seizure. My vision was bluring, my eyes were fluttering, and I kept losing track of what was going on around me and what I was doing. It was a very scary feeling to think that I was going to have a seizure at work. There are so many things that I could hit my head on, and I also wouldn't want to scare a customer. So I told my manager how I was feeling and that I needed to take a fifteen minute break to try and relax and figure out what to do. So I went into the back room and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor with a terrible headache, body ache, and nausea (which is how it feels after you have a seizure). Thank God that I had a walkie - talking right there to let my manager know, and that I didn't get hurt worse than I did. But waking up on the floor of the back room was still a very terrifying experience.

My manager called someone in to cover for me and I got ahold of my parents to come and get me. So I went home and started to relax when I got a call from Matt who was a little freaked because he went into Famous Footwear to come and see me after he got off work and my manager told him I had a seizure. Poor guy. So he came over and brought me some sushi dinner and comforted me. I am so thankful for him. What a wonderful group of people God has put in my life :)