Just like family

I love the people in our Bible study! I am not sure what I would do without these people. I am so thankful that God created us to be in a community with one another. Last night we talked about the story of David and Jonathan. If you haven't read this story it is in 1 Samuel 18. 

"When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan committed himself to David, and loved him as much as he loved himself. "

In some translations it says "loved him as much as his own soul." Can you imagine loving a friend in that way? When we first read this we were talking about how we would consider that a "homosexual" love but the more we read the more we realized that this kind of a bond between men is discouraged in our culture. Men are taught from a young age that being a man means that you don't need anyone. To be transparent with someone is to show weakness. God did not make us to live like this. 

Last night I tried to imagine what it would be like to be completely transparent with my close friends. At first I became frightened that they might not like me anymore. I was afraid that they may not like the person that I really am. Then I became excited at the bond that I would be able to have with them. What a wonderful example of Christs love. 

Home!

My husband and I have a house! We actually have been here for almost 2 months now and we are LOVING it! I finally feel like I have a place to call home. Before we bought the house we were living in a very small one bedroom apartment. After approximately one week I was done with the tight living quarters.  Our apartment was in the basement with one window and one sliding glass door. The small amount of light that would have been let in was covered by a big shady tree. I became depressed very quickly. It's amazing how important it is to have sunshine! Thankfully our house has nice big windows in every room (I probably wouldn't have bought it if it didn't).

We are SO blessed!

Oh, this old thing?

It has almost been a year since my last post which is a shame because it has been a very eventful year!

This past year I have:

• Gone to college for the first time
• Became engaged
• Became married
• Reunited with an old friend
• Became a cat owner
• Learned to knit
• Learned to rock climb

As of right now Matt and I are in the process of buying a home. Buying a home is MUCH more stressful than getting married in my opinion. Talk about a scary purchase. Although this has been a stressful time Matt and I have been extremely blessed to have Godly people helping us through the process. I never thought I would look forward to talking to my mortgage lender but I am so impressed that he never stops reminding us that God is in control of the situation and after every meeting or phone call he prays with us. This has also transferred into our marriage and reminds us to continuously pray about this together (praying together is one of my favorite things about being married). I am also in awe of the people that God has placed in my life right now. He always knows what I need. Lord, thank you for the many blessings that you have given Matt and I and I pray that we will be able to show your love to others so that they can one day experience this great relationship for themselves.

Amen

I want

I want to create lovely birds.

Birds that will hang above my head at night.

They will remind me of the simple beauty in life.

My own little birds.

Realizing my actions and reactions.

I noticed I hate being classified as "religious"

Why?

What is wrong with being religious?

Nothing.

Being religious is all about keeping traditions.

I am not against tradition.

Tradition is wonderful!

This is how our cultures are formed.

But over the past few weeks I have realized that I don't want to be known as a "traditionalist"

This is not what my God is about.

I believe in being a Christ follower.

Christ follower: Someone who cares more about showing Jesus to others so that they can have a relationship with Him.

Being religious and a Christ follower can go hand in hand. But I don't want to be known for my traditions... I want to be known as the girl on fire for God.

Empty Nest

Soon I will be living alone...

Weird.

Pulling the focus

I know I haven't been keeping up on my 365 days of being thankful. I didn't realize why it was so hard for me. I noticed that I haven't been looking at the possibility of a bigger picture that God was trying to show me because I was so focused on trying to find the little things. After realizing and understanding this, I decided that I should share what I am going through.

Lately I have been throwing a bit of a pity party for myself. These past few weeks I have had a few people make comments, negative ones, about my weight, height, attractiveness, and personality. Apparently, the only opinion after that was the people that were telling me all these terrible things about myself. Suddenly I didn't feel worthy of being loved, no matter how beautiful Matt told me I was I just couldn't accept it. I engulfed myself in trying to be perfect.

One night I went home and watched probably around 10 youtube videos on how to make your hair prettier, put on my makeup better, and how to get perfect skin. None of these things made me happy, because none of them really matter. The next day I went to work and was being criticized by the same people, I was letting Satan's demons get in my head and tell me just how worthless I am. Then I texted a friend of mine randomly, asking her what she was doing that evening, she told me that she was going to a Bible study that was at my church (I wasn't paying enough attention to know about any other activities but applying beauty treatments to myself). I decided to go. When I got there I realized how much God was working in that one text message. That night we were talking about the exact same thing I was going through. I was able to vent in a safe place where I would actually be able to seek advice instead of just "vent" and then not feel any relief. I have been going the past few weeks and it always comes at the perfect moment, and somehow we end up talking about the exact thing I am dealing with that day.

Over these past few weeks I have realized what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect to be loved by God.

Never will I have to earn his love, because his love in unconditional.

God takes me as I am, he meets me where I'm at.

All women are beautiful, no matter what the magazines tell you.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL