Head band

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=43069905

Want.

Home is where the heart is.

What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

-Switchfoot






Catalina was beyond amazing. Everyone and everything around me was so inspiring. It was wonderful to watch people in their walks and watching them see God. It was nice watching me see God. I am incredibly thankful.

Here is a poem by our Mark 1 group leader. It describes it perfectly.



Desperate Beauty

When I fail I know you will succeed.
I dwell where dusty bones fill empty pews and love grows infirm and frail.
But your light: substantial, real, costly,
Breaks the heavy crust and weary doubt of hardened hearts.

Where I cannot win you cannot be stopped,
Because your ashes can no longer be burned
Nor your fire quenched. You are the street-level.
You are the army of the ever-living.

I know this because Satan has hated you,
But his burning intent and impotent brunt
Is brought up short, and has only seared you
With the determination, to stand.

I know even in poverty you are rich and where my life lacks yours will be filled.
Through Satan's warmed-over shit God has purified silver.
And while Pharisees and scribes beat their chest
Jesus is about fishermen, tax-collectors and sinners.

I know this church is tattooed and shabby.
It swaggers a bit, flies the bird too much
spits out profanity like watermelon seeds on a summer day
And pisses on church tradition.

But love leaves dusty pews behind in order to live in you,
In softened hearts beating in new skins:
Unafraid, unflinching, desperately beautiful.
Thus I know, even when I lose, in you God wins.

David Mark Brown
March 21st, 2010
The first day of spring on earth
New life sprouts eternal in the Kingdom



Thanks Dave for being more than our leader. Thank you for loving us.

Walking the thin line.

I have found that sometimes it is really difficult to be a good friend. There seems to be this thin line between being a good friend and being walked all over. I know it sounds like I have a crappy friend if they are treating me badly but I am also wondering if there is an acception to some things. I know they are going through a really tough time in their life right now and I want to be there for them. But occasionally they will just say incredibly rude comments.... Sigh. It is really hard for me to have unconditional love for people.

Luckily I'm going to Catalina tonight and get a chance to get away from the stress. And I get to just focus all of my energy on God. What a wonderful thing.





PS. Aimee Bellah suggested the book "The Hunger Games" to me. It is incredibly good. I suggest you read it. You'll have a hard time putting it down.

The right way

I saw alice in wonderland the other day and although I had a lot of WTF moments I felt that it was very good. There were definatly some moments that I felt like I fell into the cute quirky yet slightly dangerous world that I fell in love with so many years ago.

I wish I thought a little more like Alice sometimes....

Excitement.

I am SO excited for Catalina! I will be missing an improv show and a play rehersal but it will all be worth it. Eight hours of studying God's word sounded like a lot at first but as I have been going to bible study more and more I have realized that I thirst for it. I need to learn more - I need to know more about God's love for us and what I can do to help others feel that same love. I live such a blessed life and I never realized it until I started my relationship with Jesus. And what a beautiful relationship it is.

Not many people know this about me but I have a hard time keeping friends. My whole life i have had this problem. I will have a best friend for about a year and then POOF something happens and we aren't friends anymore. Whether it was a big dramatic fight or we just started to grow apart it seems to happen. Just the other night I realized that instead of just becoming friends with someone I was trying to make them like me. I never completely changed myself but i definatly tried to put my best foot forward to earn their love. This is a problem I have been struggling with all of my life and never understood what was wrong with me. Or sometimes, what was wrong with them. But i now know that, just like Gods love, my friends should love me unconditionally for who I am. And i should love them unconditionally for who they are. I dont need to make God love me. And i also don't need to make people be my friend. I have to trust that God will provide me with the people I need in my life and that instead of worrying about friends I should start spending more time enjoying Jesus.


That might of sounded like rambling to some of you. But thats ok, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. If only one person can get something out of my thoughts or experiences then I am a happy lady.