I want to create lovely birds.
Birds that will hang above my head at night.
They will remind me of the simple beauty in life.
My own little birds.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Realizing my actions and reactions.
I noticed I hate being classified as "religious"
Why?
What is wrong with being religious?
Nothing.
Being religious is all about keeping traditions.
I am not against tradition.
Tradition is wonderful!
This is how our cultures are formed.
But over the past few weeks I have realized that I don't want to be known as a "traditionalist"
This is not what my God is about.
I believe in being a Christ follower.
Christ follower: Someone who cares more about showing Jesus to others so that they can have a relationship with Him.
Being religious and a Christ follower can go hand in hand. But I don't want to be known for my traditions... I want to be known as the girl on fire for God.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pulling the focus
I know I haven't been keeping up on my 365 days of being thankful. I didn't realize why it was so hard for me. I noticed that I haven't been looking at the possibility of a bigger picture that God was trying to show me because I was so focused on trying to find the little things. After realizing and understanding this, I decided that I should share what I am going through.
Lately I have been throwing a bit of a pity party for myself. These past few weeks I have had a few people make comments, negative ones, about my weight, height, attractiveness, and personality. Apparently, the only opinion after that was the people that were telling me all these terrible things about myself. Suddenly I didn't feel worthy of being loved, no matter how beautiful Matt told me I was I just couldn't accept it. I engulfed myself in trying to be perfect.
One night I went home and watched probably around 10 youtube videos on how to make your hair prettier, put on my makeup better, and how to get perfect skin. None of these things made me happy, because none of them really matter. The next day I went to work and was being criticized by the same people, I was letting Satan's demons get in my head and tell me just how worthless I am. Then I texted a friend of mine randomly, asking her what she was doing that evening, she told me that she was going to a Bible study that was at my church (I wasn't paying enough attention to know about any other activities but applying beauty treatments to myself). I decided to go. When I got there I realized how much God was working in that one text message. That night we were talking about the exact same thing I was going through. I was able to vent in a safe place where I would actually be able to seek advice instead of just "vent" and then not feel any relief. I have been going the past few weeks and it always comes at the perfect moment, and somehow we end up talking about the exact thing I am dealing with that day.
Over these past few weeks I have realized what I am thankful for.
I am thankful that I don't need to be perfect to be loved by God.
Never will I have to earn his love, because his love in unconditional.
God takes me as I am, he meets me where I'm at.
All women are beautiful, no matter what the magazines tell you.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Two weeks in Japan
Well, it seems I have failed on blogging every day about what I am thankful for. I should of realized that this would be harder than I thought. I did write down things in my journal things I was thankful for though, so I will share a few of them (it is my journal after all).
The first thing I did when I arrived in Japan was slip up the stairs to the house and hit my knee. You will get to see how it progresses later in the blog.
And here is the house we were staying at (this is really big for Japan so we were very blessed)
Please notice those menacing stairs and how the umbrellas are cowering in the corner away from them...
Here is the girls room where Whitney, Susan and I stayed. My bed is the purple one in the corner.
This is our team at the Buddhist temple. When you first walked in it looked like a market place. They sold souvenirs, ice cream, candy... You forgot you were in a place of worship.
And here is one of the demons guarding the temple. Their eyes freaked me out because they followed you.
This is Whitney at I in the temple getting some ice cream. Hers was a twist cone and mine was rose flavored. They were delicious.
This is a small street where we found a literal "hole in the wall" ramen shop. It was one of the best things I have ever eaten.
And here is the main attraction (this aint your mama's top ramen)
Next we make our way to the more confusing part of Japan... the toilets.
It must be comical for Americans to come to your home.
Progression...
This is Janet Brown and I cleaning up in front of the Summit house (where we stayed) She is the short term missions coordinator out in Japan.
Yes, those Koi are larger than a duck.
I took this one of our last days in Japan.
Bye bye Japan...
Back home, flying over the salt flats.
Alright! Japan was, needless to say, awesome. I wasn't anywhere near the radiation areas so I should be good to go in that sense ,although I think it would be cool to get a super power from it, I doubt that I was affected.
Our home was in Higashikurume, Tokyo. It was such a cute little town. It almost seemed like its own community. There were little stores everywhere, it seemed more like the farmers market than going to the grocery store (which they had).
The first thing I did when I arrived in Japan was slip up the stairs to the house and hit my knee. You will get to see how it progresses later in the blog.
And here is the house we were staying at (this is really big for Japan so we were very blessed)
Please notice those menacing stairs and how the umbrellas are cowering in the corner away from them...
Here is the girls room where Whitney, Susan and I stayed. My bed is the purple one in the corner.
This is our team at the Buddhist temple. When you first walked in it looked like a market place. They sold souvenirs, ice cream, candy... You forgot you were in a place of worship.
And here is one of the demons guarding the temple. Their eyes freaked me out because they followed you.
This is Whitney at I in the temple getting some ice cream. Hers was a twist cone and mine was rose flavored. They were delicious.
This is a small street where we found a literal "hole in the wall" ramen shop. It was one of the best things I have ever eaten.
And here is the main attraction (this aint your mama's top ramen)
Next we make our way to the more confusing part of Japan... the toilets.
It must be comical for Americans to come to your home.
Progression...
This is Janet Brown and I cleaning up in front of the Summit house (where we stayed) She is the short term missions coordinator out in Japan.
Yes, those Koi are larger than a duck.
I took this one of our last days in Japan.
Bye bye Japan...
Back home, flying over the salt flats.
I was so thankful to get to meet all the people I met. It was nice to connect faces to the disaster. It isn't just something I saw on tv anymore... these are real people with lives not too different from mine who lost everything. I can't imagine going from my own room with my own bed to living in a gym with so many strangers. It was nice to see joy in the Japanese people. I hope I was able to contribute to that joy, but if not, I was still able to enjoy it. Thank you all for inviting me into your homes and loving me as if we were old friends. God spoke to me in so many ways within those two weeks that I don't think I would like to post a blog that long or that personal. I don't think I would be able to write it out in a sufficient way. For those of you who think that Japan only needs you now because of the disaster, please rethink it. These people needed to be shown God's love way before this ever happened. It is more than just a task to go and clean up this mess and be on our way. This is deep human emotion. This is more than destroyed homes. This is destroyed hearts. I am so glad God provided for me and that He called me to Japan. It was definitely a good place for me to be.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Tonight.
We had chicken pillows, mashed potatos, and skor cake.
Perfect last american meal with family before Japan.
Love you guys.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
This one's for you.
I was able to spend some time with my roomie today! We watched The Cosby Show and Easy A together. It was really nice to be able to hang out with her again.
Also, I got to see my friends at Village Inn tonight and catch up on each others lives. I know it wasn't a huge event but I appreciate seeing them and I love that they are in my life.
You too Derek. ;)
One week
Crazy!
I can't believe how time has flown!
Exitement ensues...
This is Disneyland in Japan.
Maybe we could pay a visit? :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday :slash: Tuesday
Monday
Yesterday was Memorial day so Matt and I hung out went over to his parents house for breakfast and were then planning on going shooting. But apparently everyone under the sun thought that would be a great idea too because there was a huge waiting list. So instead we drove up the canyon to look at the flooding rivers and pineveiw. I have never seen anything like it, especially in Utah. The people that had houses right up against the river now had the river for a yard and for a deck. The water was going so fast that it ended up looking like it was boiling and was hitting under the bridges. It was scary to look at these homes that might be destroyed soon.
After driving around for a bit we went back to his parents house and watched "A bridge too far". It was pretty good, as far as war movies go. I don't know, I just have a hard time watching them because of how manny lives were lost and how many homes were broken because of these things. I do want to be informed but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. After the movie we had a steak dinner which was de-licious! I love Matt's family and am so thankful that I get along with them so well.
Tuesday (today)
Today was not a very enjoyable day. I was running late to work so I just threw some clothes on, put my hair up, and ran out the door. When I got to work I found out some plans I had made fell through which really upset me because I wasn't able to figure out a solution since I was working and couldn't just start texting while I was at work. Around the end of my shift I went to count my till and saw that I was $20 short. How could I of been $20 short!? I went out to the front near tears so I could tell Carlos, my co-worker, what happened. Before he could go back and double check for me we had to make some drinks but I was really shaky and anxious about the missing $20 and I sprayed hot steam all over myself and kept dropping lids and straws everywhere. Eventually we got all the drinks made, and made well, so I watched the front while Carlos checked my till for me. He came back out and said that I just added my numbers wrong and was right all along. I can't believe that I sat there and recounted my money three times and didn't think to try adding the numbers again. UGH!
I was a little light headed from my little panic attack so I went home and did a few chores around the house and noticed that I started to feel some seizures starting up. I decided to lay down and relax so that I could try and get rid of them so I could do some chores. Matt called and I told him how I was feeling and that I hadn't had the chance to eat today and was too disoriented to make it down the hall (I know that sounds pathetic but it's true). Matt, being the sweet man that he is, went and bought me pizza and milk (because I apparently mentioned how I needed some. I don't remember that). He totally brightened up my day. Once again, I am thankful for him and the way he can cheer me up. It's a gift.
Yesterday was Memorial day so Matt and I hung out went over to his parents house for breakfast and were then planning on going shooting. But apparently everyone under the sun thought that would be a great idea too because there was a huge waiting list. So instead we drove up the canyon to look at the flooding rivers and pineveiw. I have never seen anything like it, especially in Utah. The people that had houses right up against the river now had the river for a yard and for a deck. The water was going so fast that it ended up looking like it was boiling and was hitting under the bridges. It was scary to look at these homes that might be destroyed soon.
After driving around for a bit we went back to his parents house and watched "A bridge too far". It was pretty good, as far as war movies go. I don't know, I just have a hard time watching them because of how manny lives were lost and how many homes were broken because of these things. I do want to be informed but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. After the movie we had a steak dinner which was de-licious! I love Matt's family and am so thankful that I get along with them so well.
Tuesday (today)
Today was not a very enjoyable day. I was running late to work so I just threw some clothes on, put my hair up, and ran out the door. When I got to work I found out some plans I had made fell through which really upset me because I wasn't able to figure out a solution since I was working and couldn't just start texting while I was at work. Around the end of my shift I went to count my till and saw that I was $20 short. How could I of been $20 short!? I went out to the front near tears so I could tell Carlos, my co-worker, what happened. Before he could go back and double check for me we had to make some drinks but I was really shaky and anxious about the missing $20 and I sprayed hot steam all over myself and kept dropping lids and straws everywhere. Eventually we got all the drinks made, and made well, so I watched the front while Carlos checked my till for me. He came back out and said that I just added my numbers wrong and was right all along. I can't believe that I sat there and recounted my money three times and didn't think to try adding the numbers again. UGH!
I was a little light headed from my little panic attack so I went home and did a few chores around the house and noticed that I started to feel some seizures starting up. I decided to lay down and relax so that I could try and get rid of them so I could do some chores. Matt called and I told him how I was feeling and that I hadn't had the chance to eat today and was too disoriented to make it down the hall (I know that sounds pathetic but it's true). Matt, being the sweet man that he is, went and bought me pizza and milk (because I apparently mentioned how I needed some. I don't remember that). He totally brightened up my day. Once again, I am thankful for him and the way he can cheer me up. It's a gift.
Saturday
Oops, I skipped Saturday. My apologies.
I seem to remember Saturday being really rainy and cold. Which is not something you want to be experiencing in late May. But I didn't have work until 3:30 so I played my video games and relaxed until then. As of right now I am working on Lego Harry Potter years 1-4. The wonderful thing about lego games is you can just run around and destroy things. If you just keep hitting (or in this case jinxing) things then you will usually find out what you need to do. It isn't a frustrating game, it is easy enough that you don't get too worked up about but challenging enough that you aren't bored.
Cute.
Work was pretty slow and relaxed so I just talked with my boss Diane and her daughter Lily. It is so nice to have a boss and co-workers that you enjoy. I know I talk about this all the time but I truly do feel blessed by this job. It came at the perfect time and I don't have to wonder how I will get food for that week. God is providing for me big time and for that, I am thankful.
I seem to remember Saturday being really rainy and cold. Which is not something you want to be experiencing in late May. But I didn't have work until 3:30 so I played my video games and relaxed until then. As of right now I am working on Lego Harry Potter years 1-4. The wonderful thing about lego games is you can just run around and destroy things. If you just keep hitting (or in this case jinxing) things then you will usually find out what you need to do. It isn't a frustrating game, it is easy enough that you don't get too worked up about but challenging enough that you aren't bored.
Work was pretty slow and relaxed so I just talked with my boss Diane and her daughter Lily. It is so nice to have a boss and co-workers that you enjoy. I know I talk about this all the time but I truly do feel blessed by this job. It came at the perfect time and I don't have to wonder how I will get food for that week. God is providing for me big time and for that, I am thankful.
Sunday
Oh my goodness I am behind. Just imagine how long my blog will be when I get back from Japan. A whole two weeks of not writting here (I'll keep my notebook so I will remember).
Sunday
Sunday I worked until about six and had an annoying customer that was there my ENTIRE shift. He isn't a creepy guy but he goes over board sometimes. For instance, on Sunday I told him that I am leaving for Japan on the 8th of June for two weeks. He got this extremely sad look on his face and said "What am I going to do without seeing your face for two weeks?". I told him that he was fine for the six months he went there before me. THEN he informed me that that was before he was "addicted" to me. Who is this guy? What is he going to tell me next, my love is his drug? Ridiculous.
Then I went on my lunch break and sat down with my tea and started to read. Well, he must of thought that I hadn't had enough of him and this was my code for "Hey, you should come and join me!". He must of failed Social skills 101 in school. So my work day was not exactly a fun one, it wasn't bad, just not my favorite.
After work I went to youth group in Bountiful where Matt was teaching about loving your enemy. He used the example of Osama bin Laden and asked the question "Did he deserve to die?". That was a hard question for me to answer, I felt wrong making the call on someone's life, even if they are evil. But then we investigated some more and realized that he deserved death and eternal damnation. But as we read further we started to realize that so do we... so do I. Romans 3:23 says "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Now, I know that comparing myself to Osama bin Laden sounds harsh; but I don't disagree with it. I have also sinned, I have commited murder in my heart and have destroyed people with my harsh words. I am a liar, cheater, and a theif. I do, and always will, fall short of the glory of God.
Here are some other verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall lover your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister 'Raca' (idiot) is answerable to the court. Anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
Matthew 5:21-22
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
The greatest commandments are to Love God and Love everybody else. I admit to breaking both of these. I learned that because of this, we should be humbled and repentant.
"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles."
Proverbs 24:17
Sunday
Sunday I worked until about six and had an annoying customer that was there my ENTIRE shift. He isn't a creepy guy but he goes over board sometimes. For instance, on Sunday I told him that I am leaving for Japan on the 8th of June for two weeks. He got this extremely sad look on his face and said "What am I going to do without seeing your face for two weeks?". I told him that he was fine for the six months he went there before me. THEN he informed me that that was before he was "addicted" to me. Who is this guy? What is he going to tell me next, my love is his drug? Ridiculous.
Then I went on my lunch break and sat down with my tea and started to read. Well, he must of thought that I hadn't had enough of him and this was my code for "Hey, you should come and join me!". He must of failed Social skills 101 in school. So my work day was not exactly a fun one, it wasn't bad, just not my favorite.
After work I went to youth group in Bountiful where Matt was teaching about loving your enemy. He used the example of Osama bin Laden and asked the question "Did he deserve to die?". That was a hard question for me to answer, I felt wrong making the call on someone's life, even if they are evil. But then we investigated some more and realized that he deserved death and eternal damnation. But as we read further we started to realize that so do we... so do I. Romans 3:23 says "... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". Now, I know that comparing myself to Osama bin Laden sounds harsh; but I don't disagree with it. I have also sinned, I have commited murder in my heart and have destroyed people with my harsh words. I am a liar, cheater, and a theif. I do, and always will, fall short of the glory of God.
Here are some other verses:
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall lover your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." Matthew 5:43-48
"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister 'Raca' (idiot) is answerable to the court. Anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
Matthew 5:21-22
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8
The greatest commandments are to Love God and Love everybody else. I admit to breaking both of these. I learned that because of this, we should be humbled and repentant.
"Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles."
Proverbs 24:17
Friday, May 27, 2011
Little did I know...
So it turns out, keeping up on this blogging stuff is tougher than I thought! Kudos to those of you who stay on top of it!
I'm trying to look back on what I did yesterday and I feel like it was a whole lot of nothing. I had the day off and zero motivation to do anything. So I sat home, ate, and watched Hey, Arnold for about three hours. But I did end up driving out to Bountiful to visit Matt. I was finally able to take him out to eat, which was a really great feeling because over the past four months I have been struggling with money. I have also noticed that I have become a lot more responsible with my money and am not spending on silly things that I don't need. I am starting to learn the concept of "It's God's money first", althought I don't claim to have mastered it quite yet ;)
As for today, I had a pretty frustrating morning. I lost my contact lense and don't have anymore backups. Which means I might not have contacts when I go to Japan. I REALLY hope I can get an eye appointment in soon so they can order me some more. It ususally takes a little bit to get here so I'm hoping that I have just over a little bit of time until I leave. Work was slow today so I was pretty thankful when it was over (no, that isn't my one thing of thankfulness). I don't know... today hasn't been a bad day, but it also hasn't necessarily been good either. I did notice a lot of pan handlers today walking aroun the junction in Ogden. They always ask for money but when any of us offer to buy them food they get mad at you. I really hope that they kind find out that they are worth more than what they are addicted to. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with what they are dealing with. But I also pray for the strength to show them love, because I have noticed that I really struggle with that.
I'm trying to look back on what I did yesterday and I feel like it was a whole lot of nothing. I had the day off and zero motivation to do anything. So I sat home, ate, and watched Hey, Arnold for about three hours. But I did end up driving out to Bountiful to visit Matt. I was finally able to take him out to eat, which was a really great feeling because over the past four months I have been struggling with money. I have also noticed that I have become a lot more responsible with my money and am not spending on silly things that I don't need. I am starting to learn the concept of "It's God's money first", althought I don't claim to have mastered it quite yet ;)
As for today, I had a pretty frustrating morning. I lost my contact lense and don't have anymore backups. Which means I might not have contacts when I go to Japan. I REALLY hope I can get an eye appointment in soon so they can order me some more. It ususally takes a little bit to get here so I'm hoping that I have just over a little bit of time until I leave. Work was slow today so I was pretty thankful when it was over (no, that isn't my one thing of thankfulness). I don't know... today hasn't been a bad day, but it also hasn't necessarily been good either. I did notice a lot of pan handlers today walking aroun the junction in Ogden. They always ask for money but when any of us offer to buy them food they get mad at you. I really hope that they kind find out that they are worth more than what they are addicted to. I am thankful that I don't have to deal with what they are dealing with. But I also pray for the strength to show them love, because I have noticed that I really struggle with that.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
The middle
Today was full of great things. First of all I had the day off, which means I got to sleep in, and I also was paid today. I ususally estimate in my head about how much I will get in my next paycheck so I know how I want to budget it. I ended up getting a little bit more than I was expecting (which I didn't mind one bit).
I did splurg a little bit and bought myself a pair of Chaco's (I budgeted for them)
They will be perfect in Japan.
That's another thing that is great about today. Exactly two weeks from today... I will be leaving for Japan!! I can't wait to be there and see everything I can. I am thankful that I get to help others in need and pray that when we need help, God will send others to us.
I did splurg a little bit and bought myself a pair of Chaco's (I budgeted for them)
They will be perfect in Japan.
That's another thing that is great about today. Exactly two weeks from today... I will be leaving for Japan!! I can't wait to be there and see everything I can. I am thankful that I get to help others in need and pray that when we need help, God will send others to us.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Slacking
Well, it would seem that my life has been very hectic and have failed to get online. But the truth is that I have just been lazy. All of this rain is draining my motivation, a terrible excuse I know, but I will use it anyways ;)
Ok, so let's recap:
Sunday:
I was having seizures Sunday morning which is usually really depressing for me, but I haven't had them in so long that I am feeling really good about it. I understand that my medicine won't make them dissapear but will control them. I was able to go to work later that day and we had a really busy day which always brightens up my day. Meeting new people and talking to them about their lives is something I was never really able to do at another job. It seems that this coffee shop really suits me! After work I went to youth group in bountiful and was able to talk to one of my old friends about when we were younger and reminisce. So, Sunday I was thankful for bringing the realization how long it has been since I have had seizures. I also appreciate how many people I have gotten to meet in my life already and am excited to see how many others I will meet and how our lives will touch each other. Exciting!
Monday:
Ok, so let's recap:
Sunday:
I was having seizures Sunday morning which is usually really depressing for me, but I haven't had them in so long that I am feeling really good about it. I understand that my medicine won't make them dissapear but will control them. I was able to go to work later that day and we had a really busy day which always brightens up my day. Meeting new people and talking to them about their lives is something I was never really able to do at another job. It seems that this coffee shop really suits me! After work I went to youth group in bountiful and was able to talk to one of my old friends about when we were younger and reminisce. So, Sunday I was thankful for bringing the realization how long it has been since I have had seizures. I also appreciate how many people I have gotten to meet in my life already and am excited to see how many others I will meet and how our lives will touch each other. Exciting!
Monday:
I went to work Monday morning and recieved my tips for the previous week and was able to have some friends over that night and buy pizza. It was great to hang out with some of my closest friends before a few of them left to China for the summer. I'm going to miss those little stinkers. Monday I realized how blessed I was for the people in my life and what great things they will be doing.
Tuesday:
Today I went to work and we became extremely busy so I was able to stay an extra hour to help out. I really love my job so it wasn't a pain at all and I get more money out of it. I also was able to get my friend a job at my work and am SUPER excited to be able to work with her. I am thankful that I love my job and that I get to be surrounded by people I enjoy. There is nothing worse than going to work and hating every moment you are there. I've been doing that for the past year and am SO glad I don't have that feeling anymore.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The start of it all
Well I suppose today is the first day of my thankfulness project (even though I shared yesterday). I honestly didn't struggle at all trying to think of something I was thankful for because the weather was SO lovely. I'm sure that everyone felt thankful today. I know that we were hating all that rain but it honestly made everything so green and so spectacular. Utah, no matter how many negative comments people make, is beautiful. I am truly blessed to live in a place that looks pretty in all seasons.
Eat your heart out.
365 days of thankfulness
How many times do you wake up, go about your day, and go to bed without thinking of a single thing you are thankful for? I have realized that I do this on a regular basis and have decided to do a little project. Every day for one year I will account for what I am thankful for that day and explain to you why. This isn't necissarily for anyone but myself but I thought if I shared it then I might inspire someone else. I am hoping this next year will be a growing experience and that I will learn a lot about the people and the world I am surrounded by and realize the blessings I have even in the most difficult days.
As for today, I am thankful for the relationship I have with Matt. Today we both had the day off so I went to Bountiful and helped him do laundry and clean up his appartment. That sounds like such an awful chore and is honestly one of my least favorites but I enjoyed spending time with him. We also made dinner and lunch together, something we should do more often.
After we ate dinner, we went down to the weekly comedy improv show that is held at a community church/ coffee shop in Ogden. We usuallly take pictures for them but this week we forgot his camera and had to drive back to Bountiful only to turn around and come to Ogden. We were gone the entire show but I was suprised how much I enjoyed it. We talked for the entire time and never turned on the music. Which then made me realize that we never play music in the car when we are together because we are continuously in a conversation. Once again, I am thankful for the relationship I have with Matt and what a blessing he is to me.
As for today, I am thankful for the relationship I have with Matt. Today we both had the day off so I went to Bountiful and helped him do laundry and clean up his appartment. That sounds like such an awful chore and is honestly one of my least favorites but I enjoyed spending time with him. We also made dinner and lunch together, something we should do more often.
After we ate dinner, we went down to the weekly comedy improv show that is held at a community church/ coffee shop in Ogden. We usuallly take pictures for them but this week we forgot his camera and had to drive back to Bountiful only to turn around and come to Ogden. We were gone the entire show but I was suprised how much I enjoyed it. We talked for the entire time and never turned on the music. Which then made me realize that we never play music in the car when we are together because we are continuously in a conversation. Once again, I am thankful for the relationship I have with Matt and what a blessing he is to me.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Helping in Japan
Dear Family and Friends,
I hope you are having a good first few weeks of spring. I am about to start my first year of college this fall and have been living on my own for about eight months now. However, I am looking for a real change of pace this summer. This past year I have been planning on going to Japan on a short-term mission this June organized by my church here in Ogden.
Our original plan was to teach Japanese people to sing Black Gospel songs in English and participating in a concert by a Japanese Black Gospel choir of about 300 to 400 people. Black Gospel music is very popular in Japan. Many people want to learn to sing this style and even more are interested in improving their English. These choirs give many Japanese their first exposure to a Christian church and their first chance to have a Christian friend. But now they have a different need.
As many of you know, Japan has been struck by a major tragedy and many lives have been effected and destroyed. I have been praying a lot lately about what God is calling me to do. After reading in my Bible for more answers I saw a verse that said “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. I know that our team can offer them our encouragement in their struggles and receive encouragement from them as we support them in this time of need.
I would appreciate prayers for my team and I as we prepare for this ministry and during our time in Japan. We will definitely be out of our personal comfort zones and will need to trust God for his strength and guidance. The financial need for me to be able to go is $2,300. I am thankful for any contribution, your five dollars might be the reason I get to go and help the people in Japan. If you do decide to contribute you may send your check to Washington Heights Church, 1770 East 6200 South, Ogden, UT 84405. Please make your check to the church and on the memo line write my name and the word “Japan”. If you prefer to be anonymous with your giving, write the word “Confidential” on the top of your check and our church will honor this. Thank considering helping me to go and help Japan.
I thank God for the opportunity to serve Him in another culture. I look forward to sharing the love of Christ with the Japanese people while meeting a practical need. Thank you for your prayers and your friendship as I experience what it truly means to be a servant for Christ.
Joyfully serving Him,
Aleesha White
I hope you are having a good first few weeks of spring. I am about to start my first year of college this fall and have been living on my own for about eight months now. However, I am looking for a real change of pace this summer. This past year I have been planning on going to Japan on a short-term mission this June organized by my church here in Ogden.
Our original plan was to teach Japanese people to sing Black Gospel songs in English and participating in a concert by a Japanese Black Gospel choir of about 300 to 400 people. Black Gospel music is very popular in Japan. Many people want to learn to sing this style and even more are interested in improving their English. These choirs give many Japanese their first exposure to a Christian church and their first chance to have a Christian friend. But now they have a different need.
As many of you know, Japan has been struck by a major tragedy and many lives have been effected and destroyed. I have been praying a lot lately about what God is calling me to do. After reading in my Bible for more answers I saw a verse that said “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” - 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. I know that our team can offer them our encouragement in their struggles and receive encouragement from them as we support them in this time of need.
I would appreciate prayers for my team and I as we prepare for this ministry and during our time in Japan. We will definitely be out of our personal comfort zones and will need to trust God for his strength and guidance. The financial need for me to be able to go is $2,300. I am thankful for any contribution, your five dollars might be the reason I get to go and help the people in Japan. If you do decide to contribute you may send your check to Washington Heights Church, 1770 East 6200 South, Ogden, UT 84405. Please make your check to the church and on the memo line write my name and the word “Japan”. If you prefer to be anonymous with your giving, write the word “Confidential” on the top of your check and our church will honor this. Thank considering helping me to go and help Japan.
I thank God for the opportunity to serve Him in another culture. I look forward to sharing the love of Christ with the Japanese people while meeting a practical need. Thank you for your prayers and your friendship as I experience what it truly means to be a servant for Christ.
Joyfully serving Him,
Aleesha White
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Taking up your cross.
This past week I have been studying the book of mark with my Christian fellowship group from Weber State. Through studying this book I have realized how many Christians fail to see the consequences of following Jesus. I constantly see people go around saying "I love Jesus" but not living it out. I want to tell you that the cost of following Jesus results in serving, suffering, and dying. It's not the prettiest or most comfortable idea but it's what we are called to do.
I have seen the different ways that I have not been taking up my cross and following Christ. I seem to think that the money I receive is mine, it is not. All that I own, all that I am, is God's. Thats what I chose when I decided to be a follower, I gave Him my life. Another thing that I have been struggling with are doubts. I am not saying that doubts are bad, I am saying that not seeking answers for your doubts is wrong. God tells us to question everything. He wants us to have a reason for us to call ourselves His. I have found that the more we ask questions the more we find God. You can just look outside and see God, even in the cities you can see the brain power He gave us to build these magnificent buildings and inventions. Matt has always put it like assuming that us and the earth are made without purpose is like throwing a grenade into a junk yard and getting a '64 camaro.
I know there are many people that believe in God and believe in doing the right thing. But it isn't about doing the right thing or believing in God. You need to have a relationship with God and be willing to sacrifice yourself the way he sacrificed Himself.
I understand that you may not agree with what I have said. That is ok, please feel free to take it or leave it. But if you do believe the bible is truth then please read mark and put what I say to the test. I can assure you that everything I say is biblical. I would love to hear questions or comments.
I have seen the different ways that I have not been taking up my cross and following Christ. I seem to think that the money I receive is mine, it is not. All that I own, all that I am, is God's. Thats what I chose when I decided to be a follower, I gave Him my life. Another thing that I have been struggling with are doubts. I am not saying that doubts are bad, I am saying that not seeking answers for your doubts is wrong. God tells us to question everything. He wants us to have a reason for us to call ourselves His. I have found that the more we ask questions the more we find God. You can just look outside and see God, even in the cities you can see the brain power He gave us to build these magnificent buildings and inventions. Matt has always put it like assuming that us and the earth are made without purpose is like throwing a grenade into a junk yard and getting a '64 camaro.
I know there are many people that believe in God and believe in doing the right thing. But it isn't about doing the right thing or believing in God. You need to have a relationship with God and be willing to sacrifice yourself the way he sacrificed Himself.
I understand that you may not agree with what I have said. That is ok, please feel free to take it or leave it. But if you do believe the bible is truth then please read mark and put what I say to the test. I can assure you that everything I say is biblical. I would love to hear questions or comments.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Passing on
Yesterday was by far the most shocking day of my life. My grandma was the healthiest out of all her kids, the only pill she took was for blood pressure. The thought of her dying was the last thought that would of crossed my mind. But yesterday morning at about 8 am I got the call that will change every holiday, birthday, and just general life.
Going into her house after we left the emergency room we went to her house to find documents and you could automatically feel like something was off, the fact that she wasn't at the door waiting for us, in the 19 years I have known her she has always opened the door before you got there, it was like her sixth sense. After walking in the room you notice everything is exactly the way she left it. Her newspapers on the chair, her kitchen nice and tidy, even coffee had been made.
Today we had to go through her pictures and drawers to find things for a slide show for her memorial. Which was actually very fun. My grandpa passed away 3 almost 4 years ago and she had a lot of his things that I was suprised she kept all these years. After a while of digging I found a shoebox full of random objects and then I realized these were all my grandpa's things. She kept his shoe horn, every watch he ever owned (there were seriously 16 watches), a couple swiss army knives, his belt he wore in the navy, cuff links and a tie pin, and a few quarters that I'm guessing he left on the dresser table before he passed away. I found that so romantic. It made me wonder what I will save of my life, what will I treasure of Matt's things? That must seem morbid and terrible but the truth is, we all die, the love we feel and the memories we make with those people make the sorrow fade and the joy of that person be celebrated.
I am having a very difficult time dealing with everything that has happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. I never would of guessed that a broken shoulder would of ended up killing her. I'm going to miss all of her quirky, and at the time anoying, things that she used to do. It's interesting how after you don't have that person anymore the things that made you want to pull your teeth out now make you laugh and adore. She was my mom and my aunt's step mother but she had two children with my grandpa, my aunt and uncle, she took very good care of my grandpa when he was dealing with a mess of health problems back in 2006 - 2007. I would rather re-live puberty than deal with that year ever again. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system and a close family so we can get through this all together.
Going into her house after we left the emergency room we went to her house to find documents and you could automatically feel like something was off, the fact that she wasn't at the door waiting for us, in the 19 years I have known her she has always opened the door before you got there, it was like her sixth sense. After walking in the room you notice everything is exactly the way she left it. Her newspapers on the chair, her kitchen nice and tidy, even coffee had been made.
Today we had to go through her pictures and drawers to find things for a slide show for her memorial. Which was actually very fun. My grandpa passed away 3 almost 4 years ago and she had a lot of his things that I was suprised she kept all these years. After a while of digging I found a shoebox full of random objects and then I realized these were all my grandpa's things. She kept his shoe horn, every watch he ever owned (there were seriously 16 watches), a couple swiss army knives, his belt he wore in the navy, cuff links and a tie pin, and a few quarters that I'm guessing he left on the dresser table before he passed away. I found that so romantic. It made me wonder what I will save of my life, what will I treasure of Matt's things? That must seem morbid and terrible but the truth is, we all die, the love we feel and the memories we make with those people make the sorrow fade and the joy of that person be celebrated.
I am having a very difficult time dealing with everything that has happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. I never would of guessed that a broken shoulder would of ended up killing her. I'm going to miss all of her quirky, and at the time anoying, things that she used to do. It's interesting how after you don't have that person anymore the things that made you want to pull your teeth out now make you laugh and adore. She was my mom and my aunt's step mother but she had two children with my grandpa, my aunt and uncle, she took very good care of my grandpa when he was dealing with a mess of health problems back in 2006 - 2007. I would rather re-live puberty than deal with that year ever again. Thankfully I have a wonderful support system and a close family so we can get through this all together.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Slowly
It is really strange to me that now that I have all this free time to do all these different projects that I have been wanting to do I now have no desire. Why is it that when I was busy I wanted to keep being busy. Every minute acounted for. But now my life is like floating down the lazy river at cherry hill.
Hopefully I will perk up this spring when I go to Glorietta, New Mexico with Intervarsity. Although I dreaded studying the book of Mark for 8 hours a day I ended up thirsting for it. That was the best time of the day for me. We would go and have free time and I just wanted to go back into the classroom. I wanted to get my questions answered, I wanted to find more questions to ask. Hopefully I can get a core group of people that I can do that with after we leave New Mexico.
A good study group is definatly a essential part of a Christian's lifestyle. I believe that questioning can also lead to thirsting for God. It is good to question, I'm worried about you if you aren't questioning everything you believe in. Don't believe things because your family, friends, or culture tells you to. Come to your own conclusions.
Never be afraid to go deeper.
Hopefully I will perk up this spring when I go to Glorietta, New Mexico with Intervarsity. Although I dreaded studying the book of Mark for 8 hours a day I ended up thirsting for it. That was the best time of the day for me. We would go and have free time and I just wanted to go back into the classroom. I wanted to get my questions answered, I wanted to find more questions to ask. Hopefully I can get a core group of people that I can do that with after we leave New Mexico.
A good study group is definatly a essential part of a Christian's lifestyle. I believe that questioning can also lead to thirsting for God. It is good to question, I'm worried about you if you aren't questioning everything you believe in. Don't believe things because your family, friends, or culture tells you to. Come to your own conclusions.
Never be afraid to go deeper.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
A game of good news, bad news.
I was let go about a month ago from the credit union because I had epilepsy and wasn't able to show up one day. Ever since then I have become nervous and ashamed. Whenever I had to tell someone about it I just wanted to cry because I felt embarrased that I had been fired. Embarrased that I had failed. But no matter how many times I replayed it in my head, trying to think of how I could of kept that job, I realize I couldn't of. There was nothing I could do different.
I then struggle with the fact that I am different. That although I am working just as hard as Billly and Sally could mean nothing because I might not be able to make it in to work the next day. I can't stay up all night and go to class the next morning and still be able to function. My disability has always been a joke to me, something about myself that can make me and others laugh. Sometimes I struggled with things being harder, but I still figured that other people had generally the same struggles. I am starting to realize that I am different... and that most people won't understand.
For a while I didn't want to think badly about the managers that would give me a hard time about it in the work place because I simply thought that they just didn't understand it. That my family and friends thought it was wrong because they were able to see the way that epilepsy has effected my life. But now I am starting to realize that it truly isn't ok. I can't understand why it would be ok to fire someone for a health problem that they have. I told my neurologist what had happened with my job at the credit union and he advised me to sue. I have been mulling it over a bit and am still unsure what to do. I feel that it would be hard to prove that they fired me because of my disability but another part of me feels like I would at least get some publicity to help the next kid so they don't have to deal with this. But at the same time I want to be loving and forgiving.
Right now the phrase "What would Jesus do?" is more confusing than ever.
Now onto the good news!
While at the doctors office my Neurologist Dr. Varma informed me that there was a scholarship for students with epilepsy and that with the story that I have that I have a great shot at getting it. Who knows, maybe this could help me learn to just give it all to God.
I then struggle with the fact that I am different. That although I am working just as hard as Billly and Sally could mean nothing because I might not be able to make it in to work the next day. I can't stay up all night and go to class the next morning and still be able to function. My disability has always been a joke to me, something about myself that can make me and others laugh. Sometimes I struggled with things being harder, but I still figured that other people had generally the same struggles. I am starting to realize that I am different... and that most people won't understand.
For a while I didn't want to think badly about the managers that would give me a hard time about it in the work place because I simply thought that they just didn't understand it. That my family and friends thought it was wrong because they were able to see the way that epilepsy has effected my life. But now I am starting to realize that it truly isn't ok. I can't understand why it would be ok to fire someone for a health problem that they have. I told my neurologist what had happened with my job at the credit union and he advised me to sue. I have been mulling it over a bit and am still unsure what to do. I feel that it would be hard to prove that they fired me because of my disability but another part of me feels like I would at least get some publicity to help the next kid so they don't have to deal with this. But at the same time I want to be loving and forgiving.
Right now the phrase "What would Jesus do?" is more confusing than ever.
Now onto the good news!
While at the doctors office my Neurologist Dr. Varma informed me that there was a scholarship for students with epilepsy and that with the story that I have that I have a great shot at getting it. Who knows, maybe this could help me learn to just give it all to God.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
College
College in the fall.
I guess that will make me a weeb
Majors to choose from:
English (creative writting), Graphic Arts, Photography
Anyone have a three sided coin?
I guess that will make me a weeb
Majors to choose from:
English (creative writting), Graphic Arts, Photography
Anyone have a three sided coin?
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