Zero momentum

I am at a weird point right now where I just don't want to do anything with myself. I am not productive whatsoever and it is really starting to become depressing. I'm tired of being this way but I just don't know where to go from here. I figure that I can't pay for school with just this photography thing but I can't go back into retail because the hours are SO crazy. I am not trying to be picky, but the weird hours really mess with my sleep which messes with my seizures. I need regular hours. Thats another thing, I 'm terrified of being a drain on another company. I am a hard worker, I know any of my old employers would tell you that, but my health issues can be... well, an issue. I think a part time job with regular hours should do the trick. The regular hours with the credit union was working wonderfully but I started to get sick which started to effect my epilepsy.

Sigh.... I hope there is something out there.


I appologize for complaining. I am just at a loss and I figure that maybe someone has some ideas, because I'm out.

Well, I had a really busy Christmas and Christmas Eve. Matt and I were bouncing from house to house trying to see everyone who invited us to see them. I don't think we should do that anymore. I love seeing everyone but we didn't get to enjoy each other or the people we saw. We barely got to sit down before we had to leave. But we did get to do something a little bit different this year. First of all we got to go to Bountiful Heights (Where Matt recently got employed as the youth and childrens leader) and we did candlelight which was beautiful. Then we saw both of our families and we got to see our good friend Kristine and her son Malikye. We had a drum circle which was a blast. I had never had a drum circle before. Her and her son had been doing this since he was a baby. They decided to do it because of the story of the Little drummer boy who had nothing to give Jesus but his song. So we played for Jesus. I loved the idea, what a cute little tradition :)

I have so many good things in my life, I appologize if it seems like I am always complaining on here. I truly am greatful, I suppose that a blog can sometimes be a ventalation for my emotions.

Embark

So as most of you know I recently lost my job at the credit union because of my health issues. I have been struggling with it a lot. I want to be independant and live on my own and take care of myself. I love having my own place and feeling responsible. But what am I supposed to do without a job? Thankfully God has started to show me a little bit of the good things that can come from this. Matt and I have started a photography business and we seem to already be doing really well for just starting. We have about five different people who want our business and who are telling their friends about us. Now that is a God thing. Hopefully that will be an income I will be able to live off of.

I also decided to go to college this next fall. I have no idea what I want to do, but I feel like my break from school has been great but its ready to jump back in. I am very nervous and excited for the upcoming events. Please keep praying :)


Here is our website if you want to check us out :)

simplyelementalphotography.com

Lost

I lost my job today. Me having seizures was too unreliable. Understandable.
I'm trying to see the bright side of it.
I want to go to school. But my dad said that I was living in a fantasy land.
I think I'll prove him wrong.


If anyone knows of any jobs I would be more than happy to hear your input.



Dear God, make me a bird....

Being a light

I realized I never talk about the Junior High kids on this thing. Which is weird because it is such a big part of mine and Matt's life. Matt is the intern for the Junior High youth group at our church and I am a leader along with some of our best friends. The group is called convergent and it is probably made up of about 120 or more 6th through 8th grade kids of all different shapes, colors, and backgrounds. I started helping out in June or so and the more I started to get to know some of these kids the more I thought "How are they ever going to get it?".

Now don't get me wrong, I didn't think that because these kids were incappable, I thought that because they just didn't want to hear it. They didn't want to listen. They didn't want to learn. I started to think that maybe some kids just couldn't get it in junior high and that hopefully God would just reach them at a different place in their life like He did me.

On a side note, Chad Holladay is a really close friend of Matt and myself. He is also the junior high pastor (and at one point in time my bible teacher at CHS). He is so inspiring and so fun to be around. He and his family are just a huge blessing to anyone that knows them. But recently our church merged with another church in bountiful so that we could help show God's love down there. Since this happened they needed some people to go down there to help get Bountiful Heights on its feet and to get a youth group of 3 to grow and to hopefully multiply into 4, 5, 6 etc. So they sent chad down there to help and so our much larger youthgroup was left without a pastor, and Matt was given the oportunity to step in and give the sermons and kind of be the go to guy here in Washington Terrace.

Matt has been teaching in Convergent for about 3 months now and it is amazing just how much difference there is in the power of his messages now from when he just barely started. The first little while all the leaders were having to tell kids to stop wiping boogers on their friends and lifting chairs above their heads. But lately... I've just seen a massive change in these kids lives. They not only know what it means to love, but they are being love. One of our leaders, Charlie Poe, has a daughter that went into brain surgery last week. Those kids signed up for a certain time during the day so that Charlie's daughter was getting round the clock prayer for 24 hours. These kids are talking to God during school. They're shining Jesus' light on their friends. They know they need Him.

The past few weeks Matt has been teaching on the advant Calander. Which is the lighting of the candles each week to symbolize something. The first week was the candle of Promise, last week was the candle of Light, and this week was the candle of Love. These kids sat silent the entire time. And when Matt asked questions, some of the kids that I thought would never get it.... got it. It clicked. What a blessing it is for me to have these kids in my life. I suppose most of the people who read this wont really understand why this means so much to me or why I am so "obsessed" with my religion. I honestly wouldn't expect you to. But I would be happy to explain, and so would any of these kids.

Back in a brand new light.

So it has been a while since I've posted anything. My life has just been full of suprises lately. I wasn't able to afford much of anything even though I was working two jobs. I honestly could barely afford milk and gas. Sometimes I couldn't. But thankfully God blessed me with a full time position at a credit union. Can you say hello benefits and goodbye screwy shifts? Super rad for sure!



Life has been hectic for sure but Christmas is coming up. Which is a suprisingly relaxing time for me. Gifts don't stress me out because I don't try and buy things I can't afford. If you can, look into making things for people out of stuff you already have. I know you may find this hard to believe, and some of you may disagree with me, but I have found that making a gift out of love or finding some things at a dollar store and putting something together for them is much more special than recieving and ipod or video game.

Now I know everyone that is reading this is probably thinking "There is no way that anyone would like a homemade scarf than an ipod". Well that is probably true. But a homemade scarf isn't necessarily what I'm talking about. I'm talking about taking the time to find out little things about your friends and family that you love and letting them know about it. Feeling loved is the greatest gift of all. Love is the whole reason Jesus came here. Love is the whole reason we are able to celebrate this Holiday.

I know the shock factor of getting an expensive gift is awesome... but it fades. It doesn't matter after a while. Soon we will need the next best thing. I have found that the more we worry about getting the "best gift ever" then we actually lose sight of why we are getting these gifts. Not out of obligation... but out of love.

So I urge you to stay away from stores like Best buy, Dillards, and any store in the mall this Christmas. Lets spread love... not greed.