Zero momentum

I am at a weird point right now where I just don't want to do anything with myself. I am not productive whatsoever and it is really starting to become depressing. I'm tired of being this way but I just don't know where to go from here. I figure that I can't pay for school with just this photography thing but I can't go back into retail because the hours are SO crazy. I am not trying to be picky, but the weird hours really mess with my sleep which messes with my seizures. I need regular hours. Thats another thing, I 'm terrified of being a drain on another company. I am a hard worker, I know any of my old employers would tell you that, but my health issues can be... well, an issue. I think a part time job with regular hours should do the trick. The regular hours with the credit union was working wonderfully but I started to get sick which started to effect my epilepsy.

Sigh.... I hope there is something out there.


I appologize for complaining. I am just at a loss and I figure that maybe someone has some ideas, because I'm out.

Well, I had a really busy Christmas and Christmas Eve. Matt and I were bouncing from house to house trying to see everyone who invited us to see them. I don't think we should do that anymore. I love seeing everyone but we didn't get to enjoy each other or the people we saw. We barely got to sit down before we had to leave. But we did get to do something a little bit different this year. First of all we got to go to Bountiful Heights (Where Matt recently got employed as the youth and childrens leader) and we did candlelight which was beautiful. Then we saw both of our families and we got to see our good friend Kristine and her son Malikye. We had a drum circle which was a blast. I had never had a drum circle before. Her and her son had been doing this since he was a baby. They decided to do it because of the story of the Little drummer boy who had nothing to give Jesus but his song. So we played for Jesus. I loved the idea, what a cute little tradition :)

I have so many good things in my life, I appologize if it seems like I am always complaining on here. I truly am greatful, I suppose that a blog can sometimes be a ventalation for my emotions.