Nesting

So I am all moved in and now am in the process of nesting.



Nesting: -verb (used without object)to settle in or as if in a nest.
My first night was honestly really rough for me. It felt like I was in someone's guest bedroom but somehow they got ahold of all my stuff and put it in there for me (talk about a creepy welcome). I also have never been homesick before so I had NO idea how to handle such a thing so I of course called Matt (at two in the morning mind you, bless his heart) and he came over and brought me ibuprofen to calm me down. I have found myself a winner ladies and gentleman!So after a few days of being here I have really come to be quite comfortable here but to feel complete I need to nest. I need to make this space my own and although all my things are here I feel I need to do more to make myself comfortable in this room. So I have a decoration project on my hands and I am really excited about it. The thing is that I can't paint or remove the boarder on the wall (its Craig Massie's old room and has a sports pattern on it. Farthest thing from my personality as you can get) so I need to find a good way to cover it up without damaging anything or spending a lot of money. I love a challenge. Some rooms I find inspiring:






(notice the stuffed totoro in the corner)

Goodbye.

It's my last night living with my parents.
My room looks naked without my decorations and books.
Matt will be here bright and early to help me move.



Here's to a new adventure!
Cheers!

Support group

I have a group of people who love me.

Matt, Chad H, Chad B, Allyse, Kristine, Mykel, Jake, and dear Mr. Charlie Poe

Thank you.



You all keep me with the love and knowledge that keep me here doing what I'm meant to do.

Excitement overpowering fear

You know, I expected to cry when I graduated.
I didn't.

I also expected this gut wrenching fear of moving out and having all this change in my life.
I'm not.



I am so incredibly excited for the things coming up this fall!
I get to be a leader to some of the coolest kids around and teach them about Jesus.
I get to see them love, hurt, and triumph.
Hopefully I also get to help them through that process.
Something I wish I would of had at that time.

I am also moving in with one of the coolest ladies I know!


I am very blessed.

One year of living biblically

I saw this posted on a friends facebook today and found it incredibly interesting.I will definitely buy his book when I get the money.



I don't agree with him on everything he has said obviously but I thought what he did was incredibly interesting and definitely worth reading about. I dont think that the old laws still apply in today because I believe that after Jesus died on the cross for us we no longer had to give sacrifices and have all of those laws. I also believe that a lot of laws were also made up by the Pharisees so that they wouldn't break the true laws that God had laid down for them - the ten commandments. I understand that we all don't share the same beliefs and that is fine.I just feel that this is something that anyone could appreciate.

I love her bangs and makeup.


I'm thinking I need a hair cut

Relationships

Relationships are the most difficult thing we have to deal with in my opinion. Relationships with God, parents, siblings, friends, and significant others (married, dating, or crush) can be so time consuming, rewarding, and sometimes hurtful. Why do we take the risk of letting someone love us? Why do we take the risk of loving someone else? I would say that keeping up a good healthy relationship with anyone is difficult. We are all broken and it seems that mixing broken things with more broken things would be a bad idea. Well, I think it is. That's why we need God in all of our relationships. He is love. And He is the glue that holds us all together. No matter how much of a yard sale (mess) we are.

Here are a few of my favorite bible verses on love and friendship.
I get a lot out of these verses every time I read them so maybe they will do the same for you.

• Colossians 3:14
  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity
  
• 1 Peter 4:8
  Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
  
• 1 John 4:8
  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
  
• 1 John 4:18
  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love

Perspective

I'm sitting on the couch downstairs watching gilmore girls - a personal favorite of mine - and thinking about what I am going to need to buy before moving out. I'm feeling a little bit nervous about it all. But thankfully the excitement is overpowering the nerves. I'm thankful to everyone that has been keeping me in their prayers and has been helping me out. I really do appreciate it and you all are a big part of my life.

A day of frustration.

It really annoys me when people get angry with me about my seizures.
I'm sorry that this disorder of mine is an inconvenience for you, I'll try and do better next time?

UGH! I dont get what people expect me to do.
Believe it or not... It's more difficult for me to deal with than you.

Sorry for whining. I just needed to vent my frustrations.
I promise I'm not like this all the time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyways, that good points:
I got to relax with Matt last night after he got home from his backpacking trip, it was really nice to have him to talk with again. I'm a very emotional, sensative, and talkative person and he seems to be the only one that can calm me down. He helps me be a better me. Also, Matt was sweet enough to bring me the next book in the searious I'm reading "An echo in the darkness" by Francine Rivers. I am so blessed to have someone so thoughtful.





This past week I have been thinking a lot about college. Yes or no? what do I want to do? Well, I know I want to write. I also know that I want to do art. I would love to be a children's book illustrator and author. Or I could write novels and do art and possibly sell it (if I get good enough). What a wonderful thing that would be for me. Just to sit in my own creativity and inspire and touch people that I don't even know. Art and Literature....

I'm thinking double major :)

Watching the sun fade...

It has been a beautiful couple days of thunderstorms.


I suppose there is something comforting about having a nice home to stay in and watch the beauty unfold. The flash of light and the echoing boom... it's relaxing.Talking about the weather always seems like the thing you say when you don't know what else to say, I believe that weather leaves us out of breath and for me, speechless - if we take the time to notice it. And now I am watching the sun fade to darkness... enclosing us in shades of pink, purple and blue. Oh what a wonderful world...

plus belle

I hope that one day I can have a room like this.
like Belle.






What a great gift.

Bad attitude?

I'm feeling down.
I wish I could call Matt and talk to him.

I’m giving up on doing this alone now

I love seeing the way God is taking care of me. Its almost like He's saying "Aleesha, if you say this right now to this person it will open up a wonderful oportunity for you."

So I've been watching how everything is playing out and just relaxing and letting God do His thing and it has been a difficult and rewarding experience. I feel so much closer to God and so much safer with Him. I trust Him wholeheartedly (not an easy task, it's taken me 3 years to trust him) and I would encourage anyone who is holding back from Him to just take that step. Say to yourself "WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?" and answer that question.

Here's what God has done in my life since I've let him take over:

I have been wanting to move out for a while now just to get on my own and let myself grow. An obvious goal desired by young adults but not always tangible. I desired independence. Coincidentally I had to give up my independence in order to gain it. Yep, you heard right. I had to give up the thought process of "I know best" or "I can handle this myself" and just let God take care of it. Let Him lead me where He wants me, the best place for me.

I didn't want to give that up. I figured I could find a place to live on my own. How to go to school on my own. How to handle my relationships on my own. I found a place to live that was costing me $400 a month including food. A pretty good set up. I figured that would be perfect for me and that it must be from God because I decided that it was what I wanted. And obviously I know best. Well that didn't end up working out for me. I was very discouraged because my plan didn't work. So i started getting very frustrated and thinking that God mislead me and told me the wrong thing. Why would he give me this opportunity and then tell me no? What's His deal?

I wasn't listening. Well, I WAS listening but only to myself. Assuming that what I wanted is what God wanted. What crazy desciples we are. While I was reading the book or Mark I was SO frustrated with Jesus' desciples. I thought they were stupid. They never listened and just assumed everything and didn't trust Jesus although He has proven Himself to them time and time again. Just like He has with me.

Anyways, I finally just threw in the towel. I told God that I give up my independence. I know that my will is not what God intended for me. I also decided that that was ok. As I have said, He has proven Himself time and time again that He knows MUCH better than I do. And that very night that I said those words to Him BOOM I had a plan for a home. This IS where God wants me. The more I get into the more I see Him and how He has layed this all out so perfectly for me.

It always seems too easy, and I think this is why we try and make God's love so much more complicated than it needs to be -don't get me wrong, I dont believe loving sinners like us is an easy task- but here is all this Grace and all I have to do is accept it. All I have to do is let him take care of me. All I have to do is trust Him, like a child trusts their parent. What a beautiful relationship my God has set up for us.