I’m giving up on doing this alone now

I love seeing the way God is taking care of me. Its almost like He's saying "Aleesha, if you say this right now to this person it will open up a wonderful oportunity for you."

So I've been watching how everything is playing out and just relaxing and letting God do His thing and it has been a difficult and rewarding experience. I feel so much closer to God and so much safer with Him. I trust Him wholeheartedly (not an easy task, it's taken me 3 years to trust him) and I would encourage anyone who is holding back from Him to just take that step. Say to yourself "WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?" and answer that question.

Here's what God has done in my life since I've let him take over:

I have been wanting to move out for a while now just to get on my own and let myself grow. An obvious goal desired by young adults but not always tangible. I desired independence. Coincidentally I had to give up my independence in order to gain it. Yep, you heard right. I had to give up the thought process of "I know best" or "I can handle this myself" and just let God take care of it. Let Him lead me where He wants me, the best place for me.

I didn't want to give that up. I figured I could find a place to live on my own. How to go to school on my own. How to handle my relationships on my own. I found a place to live that was costing me $400 a month including food. A pretty good set up. I figured that would be perfect for me and that it must be from God because I decided that it was what I wanted. And obviously I know best. Well that didn't end up working out for me. I was very discouraged because my plan didn't work. So i started getting very frustrated and thinking that God mislead me and told me the wrong thing. Why would he give me this opportunity and then tell me no? What's His deal?

I wasn't listening. Well, I WAS listening but only to myself. Assuming that what I wanted is what God wanted. What crazy desciples we are. While I was reading the book or Mark I was SO frustrated with Jesus' desciples. I thought they were stupid. They never listened and just assumed everything and didn't trust Jesus although He has proven Himself to them time and time again. Just like He has with me.

Anyways, I finally just threw in the towel. I told God that I give up my independence. I know that my will is not what God intended for me. I also decided that that was ok. As I have said, He has proven Himself time and time again that He knows MUCH better than I do. And that very night that I said those words to Him BOOM I had a plan for a home. This IS where God wants me. The more I get into the more I see Him and how He has layed this all out so perfectly for me.

It always seems too easy, and I think this is why we try and make God's love so much more complicated than it needs to be -don't get me wrong, I dont believe loving sinners like us is an easy task- but here is all this Grace and all I have to do is accept it. All I have to do is let him take care of me. All I have to do is trust Him, like a child trusts their parent. What a beautiful relationship my God has set up for us.