I am SO excited for Catalina! I will be missing an improv show and a play rehersal but it will all be worth it. Eight hours of studying God's word sounded like a lot at first but as I have been going to bible study more and more I have realized that I thirst for it. I need to learn more - I need to know more about God's love for us and what I can do to help others feel that same love. I live such a blessed life and I never realized it until I started my relationship with Jesus. And what a beautiful relationship it is.
Not many people know this about me but I have a hard time keeping friends. My whole life i have had this problem. I will have a best friend for about a year and then POOF something happens and we aren't friends anymore. Whether it was a big dramatic fight or we just started to grow apart it seems to happen. Just the other night I realized that instead of just becoming friends with someone I was trying to make them like me. I never completely changed myself but i definatly tried to put my best foot forward to earn their love. This is a problem I have been struggling with all of my life and never understood what was wrong with me. Or sometimes, what was wrong with them. But i now know that, just like Gods love, my friends should love me unconditionally for who I am. And i should love them unconditionally for who they are. I dont need to make God love me. And i also don't need to make people be my friend. I have to trust that God will provide me with the people I need in my life and that instead of worrying about friends I should start spending more time enjoying Jesus.
That might of sounded like rambling to some of you. But thats ok, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. If only one person can get something out of my thoughts or experiences then I am a happy lady.
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